A brilliant review of an apparently horrible movie

When I worked at The Charleston Gazette, I wrote movie reviews in addition to editorials. The interesting thing about writing movie reviews is that it’s actually more fun to write a review of a bad movie than a good movie.

Whoever wrote this review of “Sucker Punch” had an awful lot of fun. I don’t know if the movie’s as bad as the reviewer lets on – it’s a movie I thought would be fun to see with a few guys after a few pitchers of margaritas. Not high art, certainly, but it looked like it might be entertaining. The movie is about a girl – Baby Doll – whose wicked stepfather sends her to an asylum to be lobotomized. She, and the movie, descend into multiple levels of fantasy scenarios that may or may not have anything to do with what’s actually going on in the asylum. It sounded intriguing. It’s directed by the guy who directed “300,” which was, if nothing else, visually stunning.

Then I read the headline of this review on a blog called Cave City Sink: “This Movie Made Me Feel Bad To Be Alive.” Wow. Here are a few choice excerpts from the review:

The first is its complete failure to create any sort of meaningful narrative. To be blunt: This movie is dumb and doesn’t make sense and appears to have been written by sleeping frogs.

The second is that it is nothing but the violent sexual exploitation of young women created solely for the profit of the makers and the entrainment of the idle audience and therefore is morally bankrupt beyond understanding. To be blunt: It must have been written by some very terrible and troubled frogs.

She finds herself in feudal Japan where Scott Glenn tells her some stuff about how to escape and a whole bunch of other horse crap that probably sounded good when it was being written in a hot tub while smoking hundred dollar bills.

(I haven’t mentioned that there is a voice-over at the beginning and end of the movie about how there are angels who help us and how we have find the tools to fight in ourselves, or something. I don’t really remember because I was dead at that point. I died of Dumb.)

Ok, this sounds like a seriously bad movie. Now the question I have to ask myself is this: Do I think it’s a good bad movie or a bad bad movie?


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